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Do you ever find yourself so limited with patience? Any not giving your loved ones more grace like we should?
I believe we go to the attitudes we carry and this is something I believe really builds relationships. Something that we don't always think about because it's not the way that our brain work unless we stop and process things a new way - a selfless way. Our brain is meant to think of ourselves and protect us from danger, pain and this is a big problem we have in relationships that are super super close, like marriage and like our kids living with us. So lets jump into some activities to change your mindset & really pull the mindset shift from overwhelm, aggregation, or just selfish ambitions.
Ask Yourself
Are you truly giving your relationships 110%? Are you serving them and loving them, using love, joy, patience, and self control? Probably not cause its HARD! I know i get overwhelmed, frustrated & don't give my 110% to my most important relationship 24/7. This is where we have to remember Grace - with ourselves, and our relationships. If you find you have been in a season, or space where you have not given love and grace to your most important relationships, where your heart is hardened, where you have outbursts or just plain depression that holds you back - give grace! First with yourself , next with your relationships. Make it a daily action to stop and think of your thoughts, mindset, attitude, actions and responses. Try not to react - but to pause, process & think grace in the situation.
Learn and accept that as a human - an overwhelmed stressed one - it starts with your communication. And your communication stems from your thoughts. So learning to control them, and be aware of your communication shortfalls is how we become better with our communication skills. I have to really pray on my mindset and overwhelm lately so this is me being open and honest that I am not perfect at this - but I do work on it and stay aware of it!
Been There, Tried That?
Already thinking, okay Krishna you're not helping I'VE TRIED THAT! I hear you, and I'll also warn you this mindset shift activity is triggering. * WARNING TIGGER*
Time is not always on our side, can I still you how much time I have left with my family, with husband or children? Nope, so I learned to use this time awareness strategy when the above just didn't work for me. When I can't shake the overwhelm, depression, fear, or just the negative mindset. I'll tell you again, this is a hard reality. If we're going to use the example of time to change our mindset we need to be aware that we have no control over our time on Earth.
Sure we can live our best life, be super healthy, oh, and take our vitamins. but we really never know when our time is up. If this is true we can compare the same in our marriages and in other relationships. If you knew the exact time your spouse would no longer be with you, and it's less than 60 days would your mindset change? For me that is a big YES. I cannot imagine the upside down world I would be living in without my husband. Using this gratitude method I can put my mindset in a perspective that helps me truly be grateful for the relationship I am in and the time we have together.
It seems pointless wasting precious time on meaningless arguments or bad moods. If I'm feeling ungrateful this is a great start, just putting my mind in the time perspective.
As A Parent
As a stay-at-home mom, I also get super overwhelmed with my children and have to remember to put myself in a grateful space. Do I know how much time I have left with my children? Do I know when I could lose my life, and leave them? No. Would I want my last interaction conversation or responses to be a memory they have forever, once I am no longer with them? This for me puts me back in the mindset of being grateful, patient, loving, and joyful. These relationships are extremely important to me. I am NOT going to say this is an easy task to put yourself in these questioning scenarios. But I will say it can help you be more grateful for the time that you have. The relationships you have. And who you use your time to serve. I know we are not always in the tip top, best shape, when it comes to our mood, and attitude. I myself struggle with this as well and always try to put things in perspective, I am also not telling you I'm perfect at this .
I just know I would rather be grateful than bitter, or in a bad mood. And it's definitely a way I keep myself more motivated to check my gratitude even when I don't want to. I know the battle our body and spirit fight, it's a ongoing struggle. So it should be an ongoing awareness as well. In battle we dont let our guards down during the struggle we keep going & this is my reminder to keep fighting the good fight!
They Picked YOU
Marriage is something so deep in my heart. I hold it so highly, I cherish that relationship & think it need to be protected. If you don't already know i'm a psych buff and I planned on opening my own marriage and family therapy practice, but God had other plans. And here I am still wanting to help couples and women strengthen their marriage on the deepest level. Sometimes it's good to put ourselves in a humble mindset when we just struggle with a negative mindset. Stopping to be reminded your spouse picked YOU!!! They gave up a life with anyone else and dedicated to be YOUR PERSON! Ah yall this one always strikes my heart. This helps me serve my spouse better, love and be joyful, thankful and respectful to my other half of myself! This other half of myself deserves the best communication, and gratitude. Not to mention, here in my marriage little eyes are watching and learning. The communication in our home carries more weight than I like to admit, so its a must to be aware & bring out the gratitude in my relationships.
Recap Overview
Put yourself in that gratitude space with your most important relationships!
Communication with yourself & others
A person can't give you EVERYTHING you need check in with the Lord
The time perspective
Serve Your Relationships
Give Grace
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