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Even if the honeymoon is over you can still accomplish some incredible goals together with your spouse.
Conflict is always going to happen in all relationships even the battle of conflict within yourself! But the point is to stop fights, anger , bitterness, jealousy, outburst , selfishness, & envy!
We have a choice with the conflict we let in, learning to stop the conflict & stop the battle of competing with a spouse. You are ONE together. Be Humble, & find gratitude & grace.
Roman 12 :16-21
Stop & Pray
Do you find yourself with running thoughts even a on going list of things that bother you , or even things you want to change about your spouse?
Believe it or not , every women out there DOES NOT get aggravated, upset, & frustrated in the presence of her husband! Possibly a few things that were not communicate properly could be bothering you for sure. But remembering to Stop your negativity in its tracks can save you years of tears, heart ache & frustration. Even if you are nodding or raising your eyebrows this one can change all of your relationship. Because true prayer starts within a open, confessed & humble heart.
One of my favorite books The Power of a Praying Wife can really get you on board with this one. Even when it’s hard - remember you are ONE! If you go to get your hair done would you take care of only one side & not the other? Would you get a mani pedi but only one hand & one foot? This is being ONE, take care of All of your oneness Starting with less talking & more Prayer! Sometimes it’s our hearts that’s need to be humbled before we can see progress in areas we struggle most.
Learn To Love
Of come on of course you love your spouse, but do you speak & know their love language? Do you know your own?!
Gosh I could gush all day about the 5 love languages but it’s so important to really understand YOURSELF , your inter thoughts, battles & needs. So that you can stand strong in your other relationships starting with your marriage.
Words of Affirmation
Receiving Gifts Acts of Service
You can head to grab the book & even take a quiz to find yours out but make sure to have your spouse do it too! We want to show them we understand them & love them enough to serve them in our relationship with the love & respect their deserve as our spouse.
Can’t find the time to read, me either I listen on Audible (Get a Two Free Audibooks here ) in the car & while doing the dishes!
Y’all know I have to pull out the psychology in me!
Goals need to be communicated well & we don’t always know how to do that. Here are my tips on over all communication skills.
It's important to know when to bring up something. Know the right time to speak to each other with little interruptions & the importance of the timing.
Words can hurt , and not always be forgotten even when forgiven. Proverb 15:1 can remind you how to respond with your words.
Communication is hard when you don’t know how to do it. Be Patient this will take practice.
First it’s important to look at how you communicate, when you speak to your spouse do you have a tone that is carrying, respectful & loving? Are they the opposite with underlying frustration from something else? How is your body language? Use Proverbs 18:21 to humble your words when you speak.
Listening is more important than getting your point of view out there. It's because we don't always understand them, we need to ask questions & not be selfish. If you think you are great at listening & understanding a great place to start is asking how you can become a better listener in their eyes, without getting your feeling hurt go into this bring coachable by your spouse. Most of the time we can not see weaknesses & need to have light shed on them.
Really Get to know your spouse again. The small chats, the indepth questions. When a the last time you learned something new about your partner? As we grow in life so much can change remember to “date” your spouse they are Part of You!
When it's your turn to speak, because you were being such a great listener you can repeat what you heard & how you feel with “I” statements NOT you statements.
I heard you are feeling frustrated with the new changes & you feel upset with the new amount of pressure it puts on you. I understand why you would feel this way. I feel overwhelmed with this change too, but I need more time to try these changes out. I need to feel more comfortable & confidence in the role I play for our family!
You acknowledge what you heard & how they feel. You express how you feel, what you need & what you want.
It doesn't mean you will get what you wanttheir make need to be a compromise to help the situation on both sides. Ask questions , what do you feel like you need? How can I help
you not feel X?
Remember that learning to properly communicate can be very stressful & new when you put your partner had never done it before. They might need time to think & come back.
You can use the same type of statements without getting into arguments, when you're upset but upfront with the right words, tone & respect.
I feel (your emotions)
When (an event, actions takes place)
And what I need (a action)
I feel frustrating when we leave dishes with dirty water in the sink. I need us to come up with a better solution together that works for us both!
(offer your solution if you have one but be open to compromise) Can we empty the dishwasher before bed & put everything in the dishwasher instead?
Try adding more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, humility, and self control in all areas of your life to really push the nourishment in your relationships. Galatians 5:22-23
Let me know in the comments what things strengthen your marriage the most?