Hey y'all! I thought for Father's Day I would do a post to get you motivated! Our husbands are such an important part of us, & play a major role in our children's life's. I think it's so important to keep your relationship with your spouse alive & healthy, which can be hard when you are raising a family. As a mom it's easy to give all your attention & energy to your children, lord knows they take about 99.9% of it! The rest of that .1% probably goes towards taking a shower or a quick house pick up. If we fast forward 18 years from now when your children are getting ready for college or starting their own life in the really world, which is our goal right?! To raise an adult! How do you see your relationship with your spouse? Are you still in love, do you still share things, feel compassion with one another? Do you have fun together & laugh?
Well I hope so, that's your life partner! Your soul mate, your other half! If you are thinking your love life is everything you dreamed & you always find time for your better half, I am so happy for you! Way to go because it's not always easy, but no one said life was easy. If you are reading this thinking your relationship is not all happy rainbows & you really could give a unicorn poop about making extra time for something you just don't think is worth it - I pray I can change your mind.
I like to think Everyone has something like a savings account that holds all your love, your time spent together, your happy thoughts & laughter! Your "love savings" is precious. It's important. Your spouse adds "love" to your savings when your spouse compliments you or does something thoughtful that makes you feel loved. The more you have saved up the more love you probably give out. Nice words, real smiles, passionate kisses. But you both have a love savings & they are connected. As you put time & energy into your relationship you deposit "love savings" to your partners savings account. In return they feel loved & do loving things which adds to your savings. Of course you can lose your savings when you or your spouse does something that makes you feel unloved, rejected, has a rude tone, ignoring each other or doing something that hurts one another's feelings. Not only do you lose it, but for every positive deposit made your negative withdraw is 3x that of a positive. If neither you nor your spouse are depositing savings but you both drifting apart ignoring each other, using harsh words, or just not connecting at all - you will run out of love savings just like money.
The good news, I believe you can almost always build your savings back up. You maybe empty in that love savings of yours, which means your spouse is probably dry too. Start now! Just like any savings - it is not easy, you make a little sacrifice, you feel like it's not working or you are the only one trying. But someone has to start & someone has to build up that savings. Remember it takes a while to make up for any negatives, the longer you wait the harder it will be.
From the most "perfect" relationship that just needs some new ideas, to the exhausted spouse that just wants to go to bed, here are a few ideas to get your love savings filling up in no time!
Game night! This is great even when the kids are home & in bed! Do you see men sitting face to face at a table looking each other in the eyes, connecting & having a conversation about feelings?! Umm no. Why because men don't communicate like women, they bond with activities. If you want to feel closer to your husband do something side by side. Board games, video games, darts, pool, you name his game & I am sure he would love to watch you try to beat him!
Dinner or dessert! Make him a special dinner he loves, & eat with him! You can have a normal dinner with the kids just don't eat too much! After the kids go to bed you can make your date night dinner/dessert together or just have it prepared so you can pop it in. Crock pot dinners are easy & yummy, casseroles can be made ahead, or throw something on the grill! You just might surprise him with your grill master skills! Dessert can be easy, have a dessert war you vs him with only items in the house! Pick up icecream & some toppings while you're grocery shopping. You know him best.
You plan a date out! Nothing has to be big, a babysitter might be your biggest obstacle here. When is the last time YOU planned a night or afternoon for the two of you? Have no idea where to go or what to do?! Try your first date, redo all the things you did that night! To far from those places, look up your local area & find a new place you know yall will love.
Get active! Go play- really it will be fun. Tennis, batting cages, go to the gym, golf, ask him to teach you something he loves doing. You might not be able to do all these while the kids are asleep but you will have fun if you give it a chance. Plus he will love you are trying something he enjoys.
Pack a picnic! You can do this in your back yard if you have to. Lunch during nap time, dessert after bedtime, bring your favorite adult drinks & a board game! Go to a local park, down town, or some place you have not been in a while. Make it silly or romantic anything can work here.
Movie Fort! He might think you have gone crazy but you could at least get a laugh out of him! Make a fort like you're a kid, pillows blankets, a string of lights around the TV! Bring fun snacks, his favorite drinks, & a movie! What's the first movie you saw together? What's your spouses favorite movie? Do you have Netflix & a series you need to catch up on?! Just laugh, have fun & think of all the things you love about hanging out with the love of your life.
Plan a guys date! Okay so this might not seem like a date for you & your spouse. But think about it for a minute if you make a plan, call his friends he has not seen cause he's busy too lady's, & send him out with the guys - he is going to be surprised. He is going to feel loved & appreciated. It is a very thoughtful action to think about him & his needs - which do include friendships with his guys. If you think your date night plans for your spouse just won't work start here. Plan this for him, invite the guys over & let them hang out. You might be surprised an appreciated spouse is a loving spouse.
Spa night! What husband doesn't love a massage! After he's had a long day plan this for him. Declutter your bedroom, make the bed nice with sheets folded down, play relaxing music, get manly smelling lotion & send him a sweet text inviting him to your spa! Finding something you feel extra sexy in & give him a relaxing back massage. Let him decide what's next in this date!
Surprise him at work! Bring him his favorite treat, lunch or coffee! Get the kids involved help them make love letters to dad & go visit for a few minutes! Before you go write a sweet love letter to him! Put it in his car before you leave & he will have two thoughtful surprises from you that day! If you can't visit him at work go leave gifts, notes, surprises in his car for when he gets off!
Run him a bath! We love our baths! Bubbles, candles, wine! Sounds awesome right! Of course it does so run your husband a bath after a long day. You can let him relax or see if you can join him! Grapes, strawberries, & chocolates couldn't hurt!
Compliment him! Give your spouse your nice words, try to be positive, enthusiastic, encouraging. No negative comments! For someone to feel loved they must receive these things often. Without them how do we know we are appreciated? By actions & if we don't have energy for nice actions than nice words can help. Filll up his love account with things you honestly feel. Men want to feel wanted too!
Make a bucket list! If you don't like these ideas that's okay! They might not be for everyone. Come up with a marriage bucket list so you & your spouse can connect more, accomplish goals & activities you both enjoy. You might not want to do the same things & that's okay too. You share a life together share your dreams too! Hang your list somewhere that you will see if often & plan to do something on your list everyone month or two months!